Follow Me on Pinterest

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

{ah, that's going to be so much fun!}

Tim and I were walking Mason through the park and a woman with a stroller walked by. Tim immediately said, "Ah, that's going to be so much fun!" in the softest, sweetest voice.

I am so thankful for the wonderful life I have, but a part of me feels like it's missing and the hole is getting bigger as each month passes. Sometime last spring, my mind switched. Before that I had been so happy living my fairytale with Tim - just the two of us, enjoying each moment together. That's what we had turned our life in to and it was amazing, for a while. As soon as we decided we were ready to start our family, our life hasn't been about us, it's been about what is to come. At first, that was really fun. We would talk about our future family all of the time - how long we would take off of work when the baby came, ways to visit Carrie and still go hiking in CO with an infant, how we were going to put a car seat on the scooter, where my dad's baby bassinet would go, how we shouldn't plant grass because we will be too tired to wake up early to water it, and every other thing you could imagine us saying. We already began adapting our lives to our new family. We imagined our new family to be coming sometime this year, but we're not even close.

I don't know how Tim does it, but nine months later (I know, in the realm of life, it's a second! It sure feels like a decade when you're living it, though) he is still as excited as he was the day we began trying. He's the only way I am saying sane during this process. Inevitably, I cry at least once during each period. I keep telling myself that the longer we have to wait, the sweeter it will be. It's hard sometimes, but I truly believe it! The day we find out, I will be in tears more than the last nine months combined. That time, though, not from frustration or feeling sorry for myself, but because I know that Tim and I are about to experience the most exciting and love-filled moments of our lives. I imagine in those moments, Tim, Mason, and I will be walking with a stroller through the park and Tim will look over at me saying "Ah, this is so much fun!" in that soft, sweet voice.

This is one of my favorite photos of us and it's exactly why I shouldn't get frustrated. 
I already have everything I will ever need - 
my love at my side and the wind blowing through my hair.


Christine said...

I know exactly where you're coming from! It's so exciting but tough, especially when 9 months ago you thought a baby could be in your arms today. Your future is just around the corner. I hope you don't have to wait much longer. You and Tim are going to be awesome parents!